Wanna Play? Just a Few Que$tion$ For You and Your Momma

This story is starting to die down so someone has to keep it alive.

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Sure, Miami General Manager Jeff Ireland was a hair over the line when he asked the newest Dallas Cowboy Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute during a pre-draft interview.

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Okay, slightly over the line, for most people.

Not me.

Folks, we're talking the National Football League here, not an accounting temp position. We're talking the Big Boy league for some even bigger Big Boy bucks.

You have to know what you're buying. How deep are the skeletons in the family closet? It matters. Were they trying to draw a response to see how he'd handle it?

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For that amount of cabbage, there are no boundries.

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For $20 million bucks, you can ask me anything you want. Nothing to hide here. Don't worry about my feelings, you can't ask anything that a big, fat signing bonus won't cure.

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My childhood? Ask away. Those allegations concerning the 2 chickens and the cow? Just allegations. Convicted? No, never convicted (Winger, John).....That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

When do I get paid? That is the appropriate response.

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Remember, the NFL is a tough business. As I've said before, if you can't hack it, go play soccer.

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More NFL draft

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Haven't been this happy with Mr. Davis and the braintrust in years. Rolando McClain was the guy I wanted and we got 'em. Add Jason Campbell to the mix as my quarterback and I'm downright giddy.

Any quarterback who weighs more than I do shouldn't be a QB. He should be a lineman. JaMarcus, don't let the door hit your lazy ass on they way out.

Tim Tebow? You serious? That pick outdoes makes the Darrius Heyward-Bey pick look like pure genius (not that you asked, but DH-B is gonna have a big year this year.

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I couldn't have scripted it better. Timmy Rah-Rah goes to Denver and to seal Josh McDaniels' fate in that craphole.

Uhhhhhhh.............BUST!

Six Down......10 To Go

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I'd be remiss if I didn't say I'm enjoying the Bruin's ride through the playoffs.

Happy to see Marc "Vamp" Savard back in the lineup and I needed a reason to mention Tuuuuuuuuukka Rask in this spot for the first time.

Keep it going boys.

D-Bag of the Year nominees - We started with Gilbert Arenas, moved to the brat Lane Kiffin, added Ben Roethlisberger and now are staring at Barber, Tiki, and Carcillo, Dan in our search for the D-Bag of the Year in sports.

Mr. Selfish Tiki Barber was linked to a 23-year old associate while his wife was home pregnant with twins. I'd say I'm surprised but this guy always was a me-first tool.

I hate the Giants, always will, but was happy they won the Super Bowl the year after Tiki let slip his retirement intentions a month into the season in an attempt to give himself a farewell tour.

To get a farewell sendoff, people have to care about you first, idiot.

A special shoutout to NBC ridding my television set of Mr. Barber.

Carcillo, Dan - this tool should be in an exhibit in the Philly Zoo in a cage marked "Dickhead". I'm all for rough stuff on the ice, but Carcillo is a joke. Here's hoping my boy Looch rips his head off before the Bruins excuse the Flyers from the playoffs.

Is it fitting to end the blog that began with Dez Bryant by wishing Momma's everywhere a happy Mother's Day?
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It wasn't the plan, but neither is most of what I do.

AFC Preview

AFC Preview
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Disclaimer – I promise to be unbiased when making these selections, especially in the AFC West….yeah, right.
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AFC East
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1-New England Patriots – Yeah, this pains me but the Pats are the class of the division, even if Tom Brady is, and always will be, a fumbler.
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2-New York Jets – Mark Sanchez will certainly struggle, but the Jets are the best of the rest in the division after the Pats. Besides, my collegiate humor level allows me to laugh every time I write the Jets will be quarterbacked by The Dirty Sanchez.
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3-Miami Dolphins – Heard this tidbit…when Chad Pennington makes 10 or more starts in a season, his team goes to the playoffs. . That tells me that Chadwick has a tough time staying healthy on a consistent basis. Also, the Fish way, way over-achieved last year.
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4- Buffalo Bills – T.O.’s first year in western NY. By the end of it, he’ll be wishing he was back in Philly with his buddy Donovan and the dog killer.
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AFC North
1-Baltimore Ravens – Great defense and a decent young QB good enough not to screw things up.
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2-Pittsburgh Steelers – The defending champs are the most talented team in the division but my 6th sense tells me Big Ben and the Steelers are going to struggle this year. Call it a hunch.
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3-Cincinnati Bengals – Carson Palmer is healthy and Chad Johnson seems to be playing with a purpose. His new moniker is stupid so it won’t be acknowledged in this spot. The best news for the Bengals is that Cleveland is still in the division.
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4-Cleveland Browns – Ugly, ugly, ugly. At least we get to find out if Brady Quinn can play, if Eric Mangini gives him the reigns to the team.

AFC South
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1-Indianapolis Colts – The chic pick in the division is Houston. Not here. Even without Tony Dungy and Marvin Harrison, the Colts are the team to beat until someone beats them.
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2-Houston Texans – While I won’t chug the kool-aid as it pertains to Houston, I’ll take a sip. If QB Matt Schaub stays healthy, DE Mario Williams and the defense will lead the Texans to the playoffs.
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3-Tennessee Titans- How this team won 13 games last year with Kerry Collins at QB is beyond me. Albert Haynesworth has moved on to Washington so the defense is significantly weakened. Collins can’t possibly have another year like 2008 and Vince Young still sucks.
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4-Jacksonville Jaguars- The Jags have fallen like a rock since an impressive playoff run in 2007 and the rip cord on the parachute isn’t working. This is a team headed toward a top-five pick in the 2010 draft.
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AFC West
1-San Di..... – Oakland Raiders – Ha! Didn’t think I was really going to do that, did you? JaMarcus Russell will come of age and Darren McFadden will have a monster year. If Richard Seymour reports, the Raider defense will be significantly improved. Nnamdi Asomugha is a stud in the secondary and Tom Cable will kick any naysayer’s ass. The Raiders head back to the playoffs.
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2-San Diego Chargers – Kudos to Shawne Merriman for keeping his focus on the field and keeping his name out of the news off the field. Ooooops. Sounds like a bit too much Tequila over the weekend, if you know what I mean...allegedly, of course. I know, the Bolts went to the AFC title game, big deal. They didn’t win and that is as far as a Norv Turner coached club can go. LT’s gas tank is running low and the Charger window of opportunity will close this year.
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4a-Denver Broncos – No third place team in this division, both the Broncos and Chiefs are a total disaster and neither is worth the third spot in the division. The Broncos are on the path to their worst season in a long time and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.
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4b- Kansas City Chiefs – See Denver.
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Coming later this week: Playoff and Super Bowl Predictions

Cable Bumaye!

Don't mess with the Oakland Raiders, or their filing cabinets.
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Like the Zaire fight fans in 1974, chanting "Ali Bumaye" (Ali kill him) when Muhammad Ali knocked out George Foreman to win boxing's heavyweight title, the Raiders took to the chant "Cable Bumaye" when the Cable Guy took the field for last Monday's practice.

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I'm gonna need to get me one of the soon-to-be-on-the-market T's for this one.

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Did Tom Cable punch assistant Randy Hanson in the mug, or did he merely assist him from his chair and into a filing cabinet?

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Don't know, wasn't there.

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Don't care, either.

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The Raider Nation has been void of grit and passion since the Gruden-era, or the Punk-era if you are a follower of this page. Hoping, no, praying, that this becomes a rallying point for a team in need of a purpose, or at least, something to pull them together for any type of cohesion.

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There is nothing wrong with a dust-up in training camp from time to time, although it is usually on the playing field between sweaty men wearing helmets and pads. Boys will be boys sometimes and Raiders will be Raiders.

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The NFL league office is going to investigate but the feeling here is they should stick to reinstated dog-killers and making sure guy's socks are at the correct height levels during games.

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Leave the Raider situation where it belongs, an internal matter overseen by Mr. Davis and the Cable Guy.

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For now, "Cable Bumaye"......................."Raiders Bumaye" to the AFC West.

With the 7th Pick of the NFL Draft..........

.......the Oakland Raiders select Michael Crabtree, Wide Receiver, Texas Tech University.
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That would get my Saturday off to a rousing start.

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Big play WR for JaMarcus Russell is a perfect fit.

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Others who'd make me a happy camper:

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B.J. Raji, DT, Boston College

Michael Oher, OT, Mississippi

Trade down, acquire more picks and get WR at that point like Hakeem Nicks or Brian Robiske.

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Who would ruin my day:

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Andre Smith, OT, Alabama

Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland (If not Crabtree, I'd want a WR in Round 2)

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Bust of the Draft:

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Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State

The Cable Guy Gets the Gig

The news that everyone expected is finally official and the term "interim" has been removed from Tom Cable's job description as head coach of the Oakland Raiders.
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I'm happy the long-awaited news is now here. Tom Cable seemed to sincerely embrace the opportunity afforded him during the season and wants to be the head coach of the Oakland Raiders.
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Let's face it, despite being one of 32 head coaching jobs in the NFL, there are many that would not want this job.
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Of those rumored, the pickings were slim.
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Jim Fassel wanted the job, Mr. Davis didn't give him a look.
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Kevin Gilbride ? Hey, I live in New York and barely noticed that he was the OC for the G-Men. To me, he is still the guy who's jaw got in the way of Buddy Ryan's fist when they were coaching up the Houston Oilers a few years back.
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Winston Moss? Intriguing, has been a Raider but not ready for this gig although he fulfilled the Rooney Rule requirement.
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Jim Harbaugh ? Would've been a nice idea, given his brother's success in Baltimore but it didn't happen. Enjoy 6-6 next year on the Farm.
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Tom Cable? The man wanted the job. He coached up the Raider Nation to wins in their last two games and showed a little Pride and Poise in knocking the Punk and the Bucs out of the playoffs.
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He is the right man for the job for now. Let's hope Mr. Davis is as committed to Tom Cable as Tom Cable has been to the Oakland Raiders.

My Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa,

I've been reasonably good, as far as you know, this year.

I have so few needs and wants in life, this list should be pretty easy to accomodate so let's focus on me for a bit.

What I want for Christmas:

- Some pride in Oakland Raider football. Being the first team in history to lose 11 games (or more) in six straight seasons hurts more than the time I got kicked in the cookies during a pickup basketball game in my late-teens and had to go to the doctor with a bruised left testicle.

.Sadly, that is a true story.

.- A Stanley Cup championship for the Boston Bruins. We can put this one on lay-a-way until June, 2009, I'm good with that. This hasn't happened since before I knew about hockey so in my view, it hasn't happened. Cheering home Raymond Bourque in the 2001 final with the Avs was okay, but not quite the real thing.

- A national championship for Tyler Hansbrough. The dude deserves it.

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-A 7-0 mark for the Big 12 in the college bowl season, it'll validate my talk thru the year that the Big 12 was far and away the best conference in college football this season.

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- More radio guys like ESPN's Colin Cowherd. The best on the radio, this guy has game. Mixing brutal honesty with great humor, his show is a can't-miss to the point where it makes you want to sit in your car on your lunch hour and listen in, which I do.

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- Spoiled athletes to respect their jobs and the opportunity afforded to them.

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- Someone to explain to me how the Yankees could sign CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett and still have the intestinal fortitude to ask for increased public funds to build their version of the Taj Mahal.

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- A Brett Favre Super Bowl berth - Hey Packer brass...........I told you so!

Besides, and it pains me to say this, the long-suffering J-E-T-S, Jets! Jets! Jets! fans deserve it. When a 9-7 season gives you joy, even the Jets fans should enjoy the spotlight not seen since Joe Willie White Shoes guaranteed Super Bowl III.

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-The Dallas Cowboys to miss the playoffs.

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- Terrell Owens to keep talking. It'll help with the above point and continue to make Jerry Jones look like a tool for enabling self-egrandising stars who put themselves over their teams.

- A BCS Playoff. It help rid the world of whiners like Texas coach Mack Brown, who seems to think he can still politic his way into the BCS title game.
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Dude.....stop pointing to the head-to-head issue with Oklahoma. Texas Tech has the same record, in the same division, as you and the Sooners. That is what is called a 3-way tie and the Red Raiders beat you. 'Nuff said. Now, get ready for Ohio State as I'm taking the Longhorns high on my list in my college footbal bowl pool.

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-Finally.......the obligatory peace on earth and goodwill to most of mankind and all that stuff.

There you go Santa......not toooooo unreasonable, don't ya think? Let's see if we can get to work and make these things happen.

After all, I deserve it.

Time To Squish the Fish

The Oakland Raiders will beat the Miami Dolphins on Sunday.

Yep....I believe.

Nope, nothing special in my Diet Soda right now.

So I'm thinking of all the possible cliches I can pull out this week.

I mean, why not? Life in the Raider Nation sucks right now, might as well be upbeat.

Cliche #1-"We have everything to gain and nothing to lose"

Truer words were never spoken. It can always get worse, but seriously....if the Raiders aren't at rock bottom, the landing has to be close.

JaMarcus and Darren McFadden are back from injury. McFadden has shown some electric stuff when he has been on the field.

If he is truly healthy, lots of running this week and work in the passing game with Russell and Zack Miller. The WR's are horrible, use them as decoys (if Miami bothers to cover them).

Cliche #2 - "Pull out all the stops"

With no real passing game, put in some wishbone with McFadden and Justin Fargas with Michael Bush up front.

Stupid idea? Probably.....but so is giving a bunch of cash to Javon Walker (worthless before getting hurt) and DeAngelo Hall (coach wants to see you and bring your playbook).

Cliche #3 - "Everyone is doing it"

Run that Wildcat formation a few times. Yes......its a fad and its effectiveness won't last forever.

But, Miami has success with Ronnie Brown running it and McFadden had big success running the Wild-Hog formation at Arkansas.

Cliche #4 - "It ain't illegal unless you get caught"

Now we're talking Raider Football.

Chad

Pennington showed up on the injured list with a bad foot.

We need a win, so.........it'd be a shame if that foot got roughed up a little bit in a pileup. Not sure which one?.........twist both of them. Just to be sure.

Hey, this is football. Not soccer - (Mike). We ain't choir boys, we're Raiders.

Cliche #5- "Desparate times call for desparate measures"

If all else fails, send a courier to see Ricky Williams the morning of the game. Entice the former Heisman Winner and free spirit (if you know what i mean) a little morning sunshine (wink, wink....).

He'll be worthless by game time.

Its a win-win scenario....Ricky is happy, we're happy. That is what life is all about.

In the end, is a win possible? Always.

Probable ? Go for it.

Raiders 21, Fish 13

Another Rant...I'm Upset This Time

Mark it down...Sunday, November 2, 2008.

Quite possibly, the worst day in the history of the Oakland Raiders.

At home - the boys in Silver & Black got buriedthe Atlanta Dog-Killers 24-0.

The Raiders were outgained 453-77 in total yards and allowed 30 first downs while amassing a whopping total of 3.

The first half was thrilling.......-2 yards of total offense and no first downs.

A total of 77 yards in 34 plays?????...c'mon, don't bother doing the math.... it sucks.

I think I'm going to hurl.

Is it a total wasted weekend? Well, the Huskers outscored Oklahoma to 28-27 points in the final 45 minutes of last night's game in Norman.

Now, if Big Red wasn't down 35-0 beforehand, it might have been a decent Saturday evening.

At least Texas Tech beat Texas, solidifying my upset pick on collegefootballnews.com....

Another silver lining.....at least the Cowboys are getting kicked around today. The only downside to it is that the Giants are the ones doing it. Living in New York, I can't stand the fact I get the G-men shoved down my throat if I want to watch football every week. Toss in NY Jets and Buffalo Bills football, you can understand why I don't get too excited on game days anymore....At least I can track games on the internet.....

The Bruins are playing well, I'll have to hang my hat on the boys from Beantown....

The NASCAR season is coming to a close. And still, nobody with teeth cares.

Almost that time......

I won't try to sway anyone with my political views...BUT
please get out and vote. It is the right of every American.
It doesn't matter who you vote for, just voting is enough.

The Rantings of a Madman

Lets see...the Raiders won this week. So did Nebraska.

Hockey is underway, the Broncos lost last night, the Cowboys are a mess, it's World Series time, and I have a three-day weekend.

Yes, life is good.

Time to get a few things off my chest.................

Why is it that the media buries Al Davis for being out of touch all the time but Jerry Jones is just NOW starting to take some heat for wrecking the Dallas Cowboys?

Seriously, that team is a mess. The way Jones hogs the spotlight makes Mr. Davis look saintly. Don't believe me? You don't see Al Davis mugging for microphones and cameras, ever - unless he is firing a coach for being a liar and a phony.

Jones has no regard for his coaches, which takes away the authority of those in "charge". Wade Phillips is a puppet, the players know who is in charge.

It is the reason Bill Parcells is in Miami, trust me. Jerrah forced Terrell Owens on Parcells and the Big Tuna took his ball and went home. It is a circus in Big D, and that act historically isn't conducive to winning the in NFL.

Write it down, T.O. is ready to explode, he'll cause more than a ripple sometime very soon. Pacman Jones is, well, Pacman Jones. Dallas was the perfect fit for him.

Jones has created a very talented group that acts like they've won a bunch of Super Bowls together. Truth is, the Cowboys haven't won a playoff game since 1996. At this rate, they won't qualify for the playoffs this year, let alone win a postseason game.

World Series Prediction

Not going to go too in depth with the analysis here.

This should be the best World Series that nobody is going to watch in quite sometime. I'm a baseball fanatic so I'll be riveted to the Series.

The young Cinderella Rays against the powerful Phillies. It isn't' Manny and Joe Torre against the Red Sox, but as the Stones once sang....."You can't always get what you want."

I have no ax to grind with either club. A win for either club will make a nice story, and I'm a sucker for those.

I'm rooting for the Phillies for the lone reason that a win will do more for the moral of the sports-crazy Philadelphia sports fan. The Tampa fans probably would be over a loss in a matter of hours.

That is what I'd like to see happen. But it won't.

Tampa in six. James Shields will be the MVP






Upset Alert - Colt McCoy will win the Heisman Trophy. He's been the best player this year in a season filled with great quarterbacks.

However, the Longhorns will bite it this week at home against Oklahoma State. I picked the Cowboys over Missouri two weeks ago on my CollegeFootballNews.com blog - they changed my pick on me.

This time, its documented.....Oklahoma State 34, Texas 31.


Time to Drop the Puck

Please, please, please.........Let the Bruins win the Stanley Cup!

I've waited a lifetime. Forget everything else, I DESERVE IT.

The B's have lots of young talent up front and are as deep on the top three lines as they've ever been. The defensive corps is young and getting better and captained by massive Zdeno Chara.

The goaltending is good enough and Claude Julien is capable of guiding the team to the top.

Truth be told, this is probably the year that Sidney Crosby and the Penguins begin their mini-dynasty.

Anybody but Montreal.

The NBA starts next week. I don't care. Call me when the playoffs start, maybe I'll take a look at it then.

'Til next time

NFL Forecast - 2008

It seems like yesterday that the Giants were putting the finishing touches on the Upset of the Century in Super Bowl XLII.

Summer has come and gone and it is time to strap on the shoulder pads and buckle up the chinstraps.

As I kick up the feet on this Labor Day, here is how the season should play out:

AFC East

The Patriots were less than three minutes from perfection but didn't get it done when it mattered most. Although they will drop a few notches, the Pats are the class of the division, which isn't saying much. Buffalo has improved, the Jets should be slightly better and Miami is still Miami.

1. New England Patriots

2. Buffalo Bills

3. New York Jets

4. Miami Dolphins

AFC Central

Cleveland is the trendy pick this year as the Browns seem capable of averaging close to 30 points a game on offense. The problem is, the loyal fans of the Dawg Pound support a defense that is more than capable of giving it all right back. Cincinnati is a mess with GM Mike Brown overriding coach Marvin Lewis and the Ravens are deep in rebuilding mode. With Ben Roethlisberger emerging as the best QB in the league not named Peyton Manning or Tom Brady, the Steelers will coast to the division crown.

1. Pittsburgh Steelers

2. Cincinnati Bengals

3. Cleveland Browns

4. Baltimore Ravens

AFC South

Jacksonville is another trendy pick. Sooner or later, the Colts stranglehold on the division has to end, right? Wrong. The Colts win the division and will have the best record in the conference. Houston continues to make strides and, after making the playoffs in '07, Tennessee nosedives down the standings as Vince Young gets exposed as a bust.

1. Indianapolis Colts

2. Jacksonville Jaguars

3. Houston Texans

4. Tennessee Titans

AFC West

The window of opportunity is closing fast on San Diego. LT will get his yards but the Chargers need Philip Rivers to mature and blossom into a leader. Shawne Merriman's health is a serious question mark but the 'Bolts have the luxury of playing in the West. Oakland will get better and with a favorable schedule, the Raiders should be a .500 team or better. The Broncos have been getting worse over the last few years and it is clear that Mike Shanahan has lost his fastball. Herm Edwards has guided the Chiefs to the depths of the league.

1. San Diego Chargers

2. Oakland Raiders

3. Denver Broncos

4. Kansas City Chiefs

NFC East

Things will be tougher for the defending champion Giants this year. Michael Strahan has retired and Osi Umenyiora is out for the year with a knee injury. Hope they enjoyed last year, 'cuz every year is different. Dallas is the class of the division but hasn't won a playoff game since the Clinton administration. Washington will improve and the Eagles continue to avoid picking up skill positions players in the offseason.

1. Dallas Cowboys

2. Washington Redskins

3. Philadelphia Eagles

4. New York Giants

NFC Central

Ugly, uglier, ugliest and Matt Millen's Lions. Why are people so hot on Minnesota? Tavaris Jackson scares nobody. Until he develops, opposing defenses will put eight men in the box to stop Adrian Peterson, who should suffer another injury sometime around early November. Green Bay blew it when it ran Brett Favre out of town and the Lions will muddle through another six win season. That leaves the Bears who should be recovered from the Super Bowl-hangover that plagued them last year.

1. Chicago Bears

2. Minnesota Vikings

3. Green Bay Packers

4. Detroit Lions

NFC South

Has anyone noticed that the four-division format in each conference has led to some bad divisions? New Orleans is the class of the South this year, look for Drew Brees to be the best QB in the NFC. Carolina could win 10 games, or lose 10 games. Tampa Bay is average at best while the Falcons will battle Kansas City for the top pick of the 2009 draft.

1. New Orleans Saints

2. Carolina Panthers

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

4. Atlanta Falcons

NFC West

Yes, I saved the worst for last. The only thing stopping Seattle from winning the division again would be a massive injury outbreak. Arizona seems to never fulfill its promise and San Francisco isn't close to becoming a threat. I'm not sure St. Louis is still in the league.

1. Seattle Seahawks

2. San Francisco 49ers

3. Arizona Cardinals

4. St. Louis Rams

Postseason Awards

NFL MVP - Peyton Manning, Indianapolis

Offensive Player of the Year - Peyton Manning, Indianapolis

Defensive Player of the Year - Mario Williams, Houston

Offensive Rookie of the Year - Darren McFadden, Oakland

Defensive Rookie of the Year - Jerod Mayo, New England

Playoff Predictions

AFC Wild Card Playoff

San Diego over Oakland

Jacksonville over New England

NFC Wild Card Playoff

Seattle over Philadelphia

Washington over Chicago

AFC Divisional Playoff

Indianapolis over Jacksonville

Pittsburgh over San Diego

NFC Divisional Playoff

Dallas over Washington

New Orleans over Seattle

AFC Championship

Indianapolis over Pittsburgh

NFC Championship

Dallas over New Orleans

Super Bowl XLIII

Indianapolis 33, Dallas 28

-Three in a row for Archie Manning's boys