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Hope springs eternal and every team is 0-0 and tied for first place.
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Looking forward, the NFL average says five new teams make the playoffs each year so these types of predictions are usually null and void before my birthday at the end of September ---quick reminder, I do require a $100 minimum on all gifts ---as the NFL season is always quite whacky.
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With that in mind, strap on your seatbelts 'cuz here we go:
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AFC East
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1 - New England Patriots - Yeah, I thought the dynasty-that-never-
would've-happened-if-referee-Ben-Coleman-didn't-have-his-head-up-his-ass (don't know what I'm talking about? see the life-changing picture to the left) was dead last year when the Ravens pounded the Pats in the playoffs. Nope...one more year left in the Pats.
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would've-happened-if-referee-Ben-Coleman-didn't-have-his-head-up-his-ass (don't know what I'm talking about? see the life-changing picture to the left) was dead last year when the Ravens pounded the Pats in the playoffs. Nope...one more year left in the Pats.2 - Miami Dolphins - Getting better and Chad Henne looks like a player. The Fish will make the playoffs as the top wild card and nab the 5th seed in the playoffs.
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3 - New York Jets - The best team ever, just ask 'em. The J-E-T-S, JETS! JETS! JETS! are way too full of themselves and are ripe for a letdown. Oh yeah, second-year quarterbacks have a recent trend of taking a step backwards. Mark Sanchez didn't exactly light it up last year, he'll struggle again this year.
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3 - New York Jets - The best team ever, just ask 'em. The J-E-T-S, JETS! JETS! JETS! are way too full of themselves and are ripe for a letdown. Oh yeah, second-year quarterbacks have a recent trend of taking a step backwards. Mark Sanchez didn't exactly light it up last year, he'll struggle again this year.
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4 -Buffalo Bills - A mess and on the clock for the 2011 draft.
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AFC North
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1 - Baltimore Ravens - Getting better as Joe Flacco comes of age. The defense is older, but still as good as any.
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1 - Baltimore Ravens - Getting better as Joe Flacco comes of age. The defense is older, but still as good as any.
.2 - Cincinnati Bengals - The Ochocinco-T.O. combo just has to implode at some point. It should be fun to watch calm and quiet Marvin Lewis deal with the personalities, who should play well long enough to get Cincy to the playoffs.
.3 - Pittsburgh Steelers - Too many distractions and one too many stupid quarterbacks on the roster will keep the Steelers home for the playoffs.
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4 - Cleveland Browns - The Brownies got hot at the end of the '09 season and likely saved Eric Mangini's job. Big whoop, they still are sans talent and have no shot at getting out of the North basement.
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4 - Cleveland Browns - The Brownies got hot at the end of the '09 season and likely saved Eric Mangini's job. Big whoop, they still are sans talent and have no shot at getting out of the North basement.
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AFC South
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1 - Houston Texans - Yeah, the Texans are the sexy (huh-huh, I said sexy) pick this year to make the playoffs so I'll jump on board. This pick makes sense 
because....
because.....
2 - Indianapolis Colts - the team that loses the Super Bowl ALWAYS misses the playoffs. Well, almost always and that is good enough for me. Peyton Manning and the boys are usually good for at least 11 wins but I'm not going to spit into the heavy wind of a constant trend. Indy'll win 9, and miss the playoffs.
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3 - Tennessee Titans - Kinda wanted to put them ahead of the Colts, but I'm still a Vince Young hater so I won't go there.
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4 - Jacksonville Jaguars - Franchise is busy packing their bags for another locale....L.A. anyone?
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AFC West
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1 - Oakland Raiders - Disclaimer #1 - I'm a Raider fan. Disclaimer #2 - The rest of this division sucks. Rolando McClain and Lamarr Houston were
the top two draft picks and will solidify a much-improved defense. The offense will forget Mr. Codeine and be efficient enough to win the division.
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2 - San Diego Chargers - That loud sound you heard last January when the J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! were celebrating at midfield of Qualcomm was the sound the the 'Bolts window of opportunity slamming shut. The Chargers missed their chance and need to rebuild.
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1 - Oakland Raiders - Disclaimer #1 - I'm a Raider fan. Disclaimer #2 - The rest of this division sucks. Rolando McClain and Lamarr Houston were
the top two draft picks and will solidify a much-improved defense. The offense will forget Mr. Codeine and be efficient enough to win the division..
2 - San Diego Chargers - That loud sound you heard last January when the J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! were celebrating at midfield of Qualcomm was the sound the the 'Bolts window of opportunity slamming shut. The Chargers missed their chance and need to rebuild.
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3 - Kansas City Chiefs - Still terrible, but better than the pungent smell of the team below them.
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4 - Denver Broncos - Josh McDaniels is in way over his head. Drafting Tim Tebow was a waste, trading three picks to draft a guy based on character is down-right stupid.
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4 - Denver Broncos - Josh McDaniels is in way over his head. Drafting Tim Tebow was a waste, trading three picks to draft a guy based on character is down-right stupid.
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NFC East
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1 - Dallas Cowboys - The thought of this team playing in the Super Bowl in the Jerruh-Dome is, in a word, nauseating. They'll win the division but will fail
in the playoffs due to having the most overrated player in the NFL (see pic on left).
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1 - Dallas Cowboys - The thought of this team playing in the Super Bowl in the Jerruh-Dome is, in a word, nauseating. They'll win the division but will fail
in the playoffs due to having the most overrated player in the NFL (see pic on left)..
2 - Philadelphia Eagles - Kevin Kolb needs a year before the Iggles can take back the Eastern crown.
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3 - Washington Redskins - I picked the 'Skins to go to the playoffs last year. I might be dumb, but I'm not stupid. 7-9 for Shanny's boys.
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4 - New York Giants - Last season's gag is still fresh. The coach is on his last legs and the QB is a weenie for a team suddenly very short on talent.
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4 - New York Giants - Last season's gag is still fresh. The coach is on his last legs and the QB is a weenie for a team suddenly very short on talent.
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NFC North
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1 - Green Bay Packers - Gonna go with the sexy (huh-huh, I said sexy again) in the NFC and I'm okay with that. Aaron Rodgers should have a huge 
season - an NFL MVP season - behind a better offensive line.
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2 - Minnesota Vikings - Just a hunch, Brett Favre won't last the season but will hang in there long enough to get the Vikes into the playoffs...if Adrian Peterson remembers how to hold on to the football.
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3 - Detroit Lions - Getting there, especially with my boy Ndamukong Suh anchoring the defense. Having Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson doesn't hurt either as the Lions are a year away from the playoffs.
season - an NFL MVP season - behind a better offensive line..
2 - Minnesota Vikings - Just a hunch, Brett Favre won't last the season but will hang in there long enough to get the Vikes into the playoffs...if Adrian Peterson remembers how to hold on to the football.
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3 - Detroit Lions - Getting there, especially with my boy Ndamukong Suh anchoring the defense. Having Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson doesn't hurt either as the Lions are a year away from the playoffs.
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4 - Chicago Bears - Gonna be hard to win games with Jeff George...er, Jay Cutler as your quarterback. Mike Martz will do something to the offense, what it'll be is what I'm not sure of. Last place.
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NFC South
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1 - Atlanta Falcons - Someone new always seems to win the division. QB Matt Ryan enters
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NFC South
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1 - Atlanta Falcons - Someone new always seems to win the division. QB Matt Ryan enters
his third year and should have a breakout season. A return to form by RB
Michael Turner will put the Falcons over the top in the divison.
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2 - New Orleans Saints - Still partying in N'Awlins to be sure. The Saints will make the playoffs, but won't be able to duplicate last season's magic, including 26 interceptions by the defense.
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3 - Carolina Panthers - These guys are like your next door neighbor that you can't remember their name and know very little about them. Being average will do that to you and this team is average.....and quite dull.
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3 - Carolina Panthers - These guys are like your next door neighbor that you can't remember their name and know very little about them. Being average will do that to you and this team is average.....and quite dull.
4 - Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Will resemble the '09 train wreck. A switch back to the old orange unis might spice things up a bit in what'll be an otherwise dreary season in West Florida.
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NFC West
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1 - San Franscisco 49ers - Like the bretheren from the Bay Area, the niners should win the 
Frank Gore is a stud. Coach Mike Singletary is a great coach and has instilled his personality with his club.
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division simply because everyone else is terrible. QB Alex Smith sucks, but RB
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2 - Arizona Cardinals - Derek Anderson? Huh? Gotta be kidding. There is a reason Cleveland got let him go. WR Larry Fitzgerald is still a monster, but .500 would be a miracle.
3 - Seattle Seahawks - Shocker that Pete Carroll left USC and the Trojan program got sacked. Timing is everything in life, I guess. Going to the Great Northwest won't to Carroll any favors in proving that he is a viable NFL coach.
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4 - St. Louis Rams - Poor Sam Bradford. Actually, show some pity to the Ram faithful as the team drafted a QB who rarely took snaps from under center in college. Rarely does that pedigree work out.
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Wildcard Playoffs
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4 - St. Louis Rams - Poor Sam Bradford. Actually, show some pity to the Ram faithful as the team drafted a QB who rarely took snaps from under center in college. Rarely does that pedigree work out.
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Wildcard Playoffs
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AFC - Houston over Cincinnati
Oakland over Miami
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NFC - New Orleans over Dallas
Minnesota over San Francisco
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Divisional Playoffs.
AFC - Baltimore over Oakland
New England over Houston
NFC - Green Bay over New Orleans
Atlanta over Minnesota
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Conference Championship Games
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Baltimore vs. New England - Like what the Ravens have done in giving Flacco some weapons. The defense will slip a bit, but the offense should be very potent with Anquan Boldin and T.J. Houshmanzadeh new to the WR corps. .
In a result similar to the 2009 Divisional round, Ravens 27, Pats 10.
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Atlanta vs. Green Bay.
On the frozen tundra, Atlanta pulls the upset behind the running of Turner and the smoothly accurate passing of Matt Ryan.
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A satisfying win for the team that has yet to win a Super Bowl.
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Atlanta 21, Green Bay 20
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Super Bowl 45 (I'm done with the Roman numeral thing)
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In a battle of third-year quarterbacks, we'll go with Ryan and the Falcons to claim Super Bowl title #1 for the Peach State. .
In a tight struggle with the Ravens, Ryan is the difference and the MVP in this one.
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Atlanta 23, Baltimore 13
