World Cuppin' Saturday

Home on a rainy Saturday morning with my bride off on her day. Amid some housework, think I'll take in a soccer game while I prep for our evening together tonight.

Who knows, maybe I'm wrong about this "sport". The rest of the globe seems excited, let's give it a go. Maybe, just maybe, I'm on the wrong side of an opinion, which would be a first..

What a week in sports, the greatest trophy in the world (pictured on right), is awarded to the Chicago Blackhawks after a 49-year wait while the non-football playing world competes for the golden paper weight (pictured on left).
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Shouldn't the World Cup trophy be shaped like a foot? Makes sense to me.
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9:55 a.m. - Here come Argentina and Nigeria out of the tunnel! I'm on the edge of my seat as these two foes take the pitch. Wow....Ali-Frazier, Brady-Manning, Hulk-Hogan vs. Ric Flair...I haven't been this stoked since watching the 1988 "friendly" between the Ivory Coast and Honduras.
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10:00 a.m. - Underway in Johannesburg. The pace is slow and methodical. Shocker.

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10:02 a.m. - Nigeria #19 gets a good look and boots one from about 20 yards! Wow, he missed the goal by 20 feet, wide right. He could kick for Florida State.

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10:06 a.m. - GOOOOOOOAALLLLL..#6 on Argentina......Didn't see it, i decided to mop the kitchen floor. DAMN! 1-nil for the Cali Cartel....or is that Columbia?

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10:14 a.m. - Nigeria #15 is down and injured...I THINK HE'S BEEN SHOT! Oh, the humanity. Aren't there any police in Johannesburg?

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10:18 a.m. - Whew....#15 looks OK, running like the wind. And here I was nervously worried about his family, watching at home. Miraculous recovery? I'm wondering what meds the docs may have given him? Hmmmm.........Roids? Do they test for that in this sport? Amazing recuperative powers by #15.
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10:27 a.m. - Have made the bed, total productivity out of me today!

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10:32 a.m. - What is that damn humming noise in Ellis Park Stadium? Sounds like mosquitos to me. Business at the "Off" warehouse in Johannesburg must be booming. That, or there is going to be a serious malaria outbreak.
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Reason #8,491 that I'm glad I'm in America and not there.

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10:45 a.m. - Done with my bathroom break, relieved to find out that neither squad busted out the 2-minute offense in the closing moments of the first half. No Joe Montana, Kenny Stabler, or Tom Brady on the pitch today in South Africa.

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10:56 a.m. - What a first half!
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I swept and mopped the kitchen, 3 bedrooms and the front door area with only vaccuming to go on my self-appointed "to-do" list. This soccer thing is a great source of motivation for me. Maybe the boys in blue and green will ramp it up in half #2 and go no-huddle to open things up a bit.
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Given that there are 29 days of this riveting tourney until the finals, I'm thinking I'll have time to build an addition on the house if I keep watching.
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11:25 a.m. - Just woke from my nap, felt like two hours but was really 29 minutes. Anyone know how to remove drool stains from couch pillows? I'll hear about that one.
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11;32 a.m. - They keep yelling the name "Messy", can't be talking about my house. Nope, not today.

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11:33 a.m. - In the 75th minute, wondering when Nigeria will pull the goalkeeper for an extra attacker. Only 15 minutes left, not including injury time, whatever the hell that is.
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11:34 a.m. - Oh! Yellow card on Nigeria - no idea what that means. Question, as i think aloud...if they pull out a green card during soccer games on U.S. soil, does that cause panic?

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At least in Arizona.
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11:52 a.m. - Final in Johannesburg: Argentina 1, Nigeria nil.
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Can't say I didn't give it a shot 'cuz I did. I came into this thing not liking the sport and that hasn't changed. Perhaps if the rest of the world would hear of a game called "football", this world cup thing would go away.

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It is different that basketball, where you can tune in for the last two minutes of a game to see how it ends. In soccer, it is a slow, painstaking, brutally boring exhibition that lasts roughly 120 minutes.

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Meaning, this is two hours of my life that I'll never get back. After all, I'm never wrong.

Wanna Play? Just a Few Que$tion$ For You and Your Momma

This story is starting to die down so someone has to keep it alive.

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Sure, Miami General Manager Jeff Ireland was a hair over the line when he asked the newest Dallas Cowboy Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute during a pre-draft interview.

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Okay, slightly over the line, for most people.

Not me.

Folks, we're talking the National Football League here, not an accounting temp position. We're talking the Big Boy league for some even bigger Big Boy bucks.

You have to know what you're buying. How deep are the skeletons in the family closet? It matters. Were they trying to draw a response to see how he'd handle it?

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For that amount of cabbage, there are no boundries.

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For $20 million bucks, you can ask me anything you want. Nothing to hide here. Don't worry about my feelings, you can't ask anything that a big, fat signing bonus won't cure.

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My childhood? Ask away. Those allegations concerning the 2 chickens and the cow? Just allegations. Convicted? No, never convicted (Winger, John).....That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

When do I get paid? That is the appropriate response.

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Remember, the NFL is a tough business. As I've said before, if you can't hack it, go play soccer.

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More NFL draft

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Haven't been this happy with Mr. Davis and the braintrust in years. Rolando McClain was the guy I wanted and we got 'em. Add Jason Campbell to the mix as my quarterback and I'm downright giddy.

Any quarterback who weighs more than I do shouldn't be a QB. He should be a lineman. JaMarcus, don't let the door hit your lazy ass on they way out.

Tim Tebow? You serious? That pick outdoes makes the Darrius Heyward-Bey pick look like pure genius (not that you asked, but DH-B is gonna have a big year this year.

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I couldn't have scripted it better. Timmy Rah-Rah goes to Denver and to seal Josh McDaniels' fate in that craphole.

Uhhhhhhh.............BUST!

Six Down......10 To Go

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I'd be remiss if I didn't say I'm enjoying the Bruin's ride through the playoffs.

Happy to see Marc "Vamp" Savard back in the lineup and I needed a reason to mention Tuuuuuuuuukka Rask in this spot for the first time.

Keep it going boys.

D-Bag of the Year nominees - We started with Gilbert Arenas, moved to the brat Lane Kiffin, added Ben Roethlisberger and now are staring at Barber, Tiki, and Carcillo, Dan in our search for the D-Bag of the Year in sports.

Mr. Selfish Tiki Barber was linked to a 23-year old associate while his wife was home pregnant with twins. I'd say I'm surprised but this guy always was a me-first tool.

I hate the Giants, always will, but was happy they won the Super Bowl the year after Tiki let slip his retirement intentions a month into the season in an attempt to give himself a farewell tour.

To get a farewell sendoff, people have to care about you first, idiot.

A special shoutout to NBC ridding my television set of Mr. Barber.

Carcillo, Dan - this tool should be in an exhibit in the Philly Zoo in a cage marked "Dickhead". I'm all for rough stuff on the ice, but Carcillo is a joke. Here's hoping my boy Looch rips his head off before the Bruins excuse the Flyers from the playoffs.

Is it fitting to end the blog that began with Dez Bryant by wishing Momma's everywhere a happy Mother's Day?
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It wasn't the plan, but neither is most of what I do.

MLB Preview, Final Four notes with some Tigger, D-Mac and Big Ben

Hold on to your seats kids, I'm rooting for Puke U. this Saturday against West Virginia.
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Yup, go Puke.

With the Heels in the NIT and my brackets ruined on the tourney's third day, I'm reduced to cheering for the best story (see Bulldogs, Butler U.).
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Oh the irony....big, bad Puke against the little guy for the title. Remember, the gym at Butler was the one used in the iconic "Hoosiers" film, scene of the greatest upset ever on the big screen and the same court with the foul line that is the same distance as our court back in Hickory.

Still, I'm destined for aggravation this year, Puke over Michigan State in the final.
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Donovan McNabb to the Raiders? I'm all over that one. JaMarcus Russell is one of the biggest busts of all time and, quite frankly, blows. I don't care about his roster bonus due in May, I don't have to write the check. Mr. Davis does.
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San Diego is done and rebuilding behind a QB still in puberty, Denver sucks and Kansas City will need to drop down to the Arena Football League to have a chance at a playoff berth.
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Heard Tigger has another presser coming on Monday.
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Here's a question for him..........Who cares?
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While you owe me nothing, either spill your guts and play some golf OR keep your pie-hole shut and play some golf.
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I'm not interested in another press conference where you say nothing, so I won't waste my time and, lets be very clear - my opinion is the only one that matters here. HA!
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BREAKING NEWS - Ben Roethlisberger has thrown his hat in the ring in the D-Bag of the Year voting, along with Gilbert Arenas and Lane Kiffin.
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Dude, heed this free advice......there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a love machine - yep, hehe - but do it right way. Seriously.
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Opening day in Major League Baseball is just a scant few hours away. After drafting the best team in fantasy baseball history, I'm all over the season this year---post season picks at bottom.
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AL East - The only thing I hate more than the Yankee TV announcers are the Yankee radio announcers so I won't pick them.....Still haven't forgiven the Red Sox for beating my A's in the 1975 playoffs when I was 10 so I hope they suck...Last I checked, Toronto is in another country and I'm still pissed that the skirt-wearing, purse-carrying Sidney Crosby scored the OT winner in the Olympics so they are out of the pool...Balitmore is building a nice, young team but they have no chance.
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I'll take Tampa Bay to win the East. Boston takes the Wild Card as the Yankees get old, fast.
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AL Central - Don't really care enough to waste time ripping these teams....Getting Jake Peavy will turn out to be the best move of the season. As long as he stays healthy, Peavy will be the difference in the Central for the ChiSox as they outlast Minnesota and Detroit.
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AL West - Los Angeles "Don't call me Anaheim" lost a ton of talent and replaced it with nothing....Seattle added Milton Bradley so you know they have no clue and Texas has never found a balance of offense and pitching.

No bias here.....the A's surprise the West with their pitching staff and win the West.
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NL East - Have to like Florida's chances now that the MLB brass and player's union have leaned of them to part with some of their revenue-sharing cabbage....Washington is building but are still far away...Atlanta will go full bore for Bobby Cox in his last year and the New York Mess are awful.
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With Roy Halladay in tow, the Phitin' Phils win another division title, Atlanta qualifies for another playoff berth before another playoff failure.
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NL Central - They need more teams in this division.....Pittsburgh? No....Houston? No...Milwaukee? Not bad, but not enough pitching to win the division....Would root hard for the Cubbies to break the 358-year hex but don't see it happening...Cincinnati might be the sleeper team in baseball but this isn't the year.
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St. Louis has the best player in baseball in Albert Pujols and Matt Holliday will recover from the fly ball to the cookies in the playoffs and have a huge season in helping the Cards - and my fantasy team.
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NL West - One Dodger owner wants $1 million a MONTH alimony from the other owner. That isn't even funny. Get a job like the rest of us....San Diego has no cash flow and even less talent....San Fran hung in there last year with little talent. They won't do it again....Can't figure out the D-Backs, they should be better but aren't.
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The thinking here is the Rockies will put it all together this year and claim the West.
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Playoff Predictions
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AL First Round - Tampa Bay over Oakland and Chicago over Boston.
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NL First Round - Philadelphia over Colorado, St. Louis over Atlanta.
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AL Champion - Tampa Bay Rays
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NL Champion - St. Louis Cardinals
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World Series Champion - Tampa Bay Rays in six over St. Louis.
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AL MVP - Evan Longoria, Tampa Bay
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NL MVP - Troy Tulowitzki, Colorado
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AL Cy Young - Jake Peavy
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NL Cy Young - Roy Halladay
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Most importantly.............Tri State Baseball Champ - Team Pugsley 2010