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After answering a survey, I was fortunate enough to be selected to offer up a few opinions for the piece. After reading the story, I tried to envision how this is going down, in the perfect world of the NFL.
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After answering a survey, I was fortunate enough to be selected to offer up a few opinions for the piece. After reading the story, I tried to envision how this is going down, in the perfect world of the NFL..
I'm picturing NFL commish Roger Goodell RG) in an underground bunker with a bank of TV's and telephones with a direct line to each stadium.
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Lots of crowd shots on the monitors as the fans in each location enjoy their Sunday afternoons, complete with 
newly installed "Applause" signs above each scoreboard so fans know when the league allows them to cheer for their team..
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newly installed "Applause" signs above each scoreboard so fans know when the league allows them to cheer for their team...
My guess is the conversations go something like this:
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RG: Ummm, Buffalo, we have a problem. In Section 7, row 4, seats 5-9, there are five grotesque looking, 300-pound men with their shirts off. Let's see if we can get 
that covered up, shall we?
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that covered up, shall we?.
Buffalo Security: Mr. Commish, I'm not sure we can do that..
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RG: Doesn't matter, I'm horrified! I dropped nacho cheese on my new Armani suit when I saw the gearth. Tell them they can cheer when the Bills score, maybe sometime in '09. At the least, make them paint an NFL logo on their chests, I'd hate to pass up an advertising opp.
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Buffalo Security: Sir, are you sure you want to......????
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RG: Hold on Buffalo, we have a bigger problem......Eli Manning just got sacked and his left sock is 1/8th of an inch below league code!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! New York, you there?
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Giants Stadium Security: Yes, Mr. Goodell, we'll force a TV timeout, no problem. 
We have a bigger issue here.......your buddies Pacman and Plaxman both made the news last night. I'm sure you heard about it, Its in all the papers. How should we handle it?.
RG: No biggie, I'll fine the players 1/100th of their salary, they'll learn the lesson once they are hit in the wallet. That'll teach 'em........Now, GET THOSE SOCKS UP TO CODE! I won't be able to sleep tonight.
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RG: Hey Cleveland.....are those dawg bones that I see being eaten the ones endorsed by the
league? If not, confiscate them. I'll lock them up in the vault with the Spygate evidence.
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league? If not, confiscate them. I'll lock them up in the vault with the Spygate evidence..
RG: Hey.....where is that Jets//Steeler matchup? My screen is blank. Better get Heinz Field on the horn. Heinz Field, you there?
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Heinz Field: Yes sir, the game is going on. Pittsburgh is up 17-3 in the 2nd.
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RG: Why do I not have it? I'm sure we paid the cable bill.
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Heinz Field: Ummmm, sir? The game is on NFL Network. Are you with the vast majority of the country that doesn't get that channel?
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RG: D'oh!!!!!!
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