Sunday, November 23, 2008

Scrooge Comes Early

The holiday season is on the horizon, time for good tidings and warm thoughts to all.

Umm.....not here. Not yet.

The Raiders beat the Denver Broncos 31-10 today, in Denver. We may be 3-8, but this win is a beautiful thing and caps a very nice weekend for myself.

When it comes over Denver, their idiot fans who pelted me with snowballs in 2000, and the overrated, punk, coach Shanny, it is even sweeter.

I'm running through my head which teams - or in one case, player - do I actually hate the most. I know, the word hate is ugly, but in the world of sports, it fits. I couldn't stop at just 10, we'll make it a baker's dozen.

****Sorry for the lack of pictures in this blog. The thought of downloading any of these team's logos makes me want to hurl.*****

13 - New York Giants - The champs. Rooting for them in last year's Super Bowl (see below) but the thought of Randy Moss winning a Super Bowl was too much to take. Living in New York State, I am exposed to this team every week and it sucks. Being force-fed Giants football is typically like watching paint dry. They've gotten a little more exciting this year, but 30 years of boredom is enough to keep them on the list.

12- New England Patriots - Moss is a punk, Belichick is a cheater, and I work with Pats fans who are extremely obnoxious. was a fumble!

11- Kobe Bryant - I'm praying this definition of selfish never wins a title without Shaq. I think I became a Celtics fan last year when they turned away the spotlight seeking-ball hog in the finals last year. I'll never stop believing, that until he won the award last year, it was more important to Bryant to win the MVP than to win the NBA title.

10- Big 10 football - This garbage usually makes its way to the TV airwaves in the northeast all day on Saturday afternoons. A collection of average teams, playing boring, average football and a collection of fans who won't hesitate to tell you how good their teams are. That is, until the college bowl season commences and their teams get drilled in spotlight games (see-Ohio State).

9- Colorado Buffalo football - They aren't the rivals of Nebraska that they've been, mostly because they suck now. I'm looking forward to the day after Thanksgiving later this week when I'm digesting my leftovers while watching the Huskers kick CU's tail back to Boulder and deny them the chance to become bowl eligible.

8- Kansas City Chiefs/San Diego Chargers - Show me a fan of an AFC West team who doesn't abhor the other teams in the division. These rivalries go back to the 1960's. These teams can't lose enough to make me happy.

7- Boston Red Sox - I actually thought they'd be higher on this list but they aren't. The only team in MLB on here, the Sox ended the A's run of three straight World Series titles in the 1970's and I haven't forgotten it. There isn't a non-Met fan or non-Yankee fan that enjoyed Billy Bucker, Bucky F'n Dent and Aaron F'n Boone more than I.

6- Buffalo Sabres - Never has one organization done so little. This team has a loyal set of fans that deserve better. The fact that Lindy Ruff is still the coach after all these years of mediocrity makes me laugh. The Sabres are a natural rival to the Bruins and always seem to have a chip on their shoulder - even though they have no reason to. I think it is a Western New York insecurity thing. Oh yeah........Brett Hull's skate was not in the crease....hahahahhahahahaha

5-Miami Hurricanes - They used to be higher on this list, but I'm not sure they are still in 1-A football any more. Ever since the NCAA Probation Police caught up with this disgrace of a program, they haven't been relevant. I guess when someone starts monitoring the academic side of things, criminal programs fade to oblivion.

4- Dallas Cowboys - Have you ever gone out to watch football and run across Cowboys fans? It looks like they've spent three hours in front of the mirror - I'm talking about guys here - putting on the white turtlenecks under that annoying white jersey. If that isn't enough to make you sick, think of the self-anointed title of "America's team" in the 70's, Jimmy Johnson, Michael Irvin, Prime Time, Jerry Jones, Pacman Jones, and even T.O. I love it when they lose.

3- Duke Basketball - The good thing about Duke players is that they are so overrated that you don't have to watch them in the NBA 'cuz they never make it. Christian Laettner, Bobby Hurley, and the rest of stuffy snobs are easy to loathe. The scripted chants of the morons in Cameron Fieldhouse have gotten old. J.J. Redick losing his last home game against the Tar Heels was a highlight for me and Coach K's crying at the end of another second-round NCAA tournament loss is usually a highlight for me in the month of March.

2- Montreal Canadiens - I hate the team, the organization, and its fans. One of my personal lifetime highlights was during my one and only visit to the Montreal Forum, where I took the term, "Ugly American" to a new level. The Canadiens seem to have knocked the Bruins out of the playoffs every year of my life. The ripoff in '79 when Boston got called for too many men on the ice with two minutes to go in Game Seven while nursing a 4-3 lead was criminal. Boston lost 5-4 in overtime and I've never gotten over it.

1- Denver Broncos - John Elway is the most overrated player in NFL history. Period. He didn't win a thing until Terrell Davis arrived. The 1978 Denver team played (and got buried) in Super Bowl XII only because of a horrible call in the third quarter of the AFC title game when Willie Hall recovered Rob Lytle's fumble at the Raider 1-yard line. The idiot referee crew blew the play dead and gave the ball back to Denver, who scored on the next play on John Keyworth's touchdown run.

How do I remember that? Because it was another ripoff in Oakland Raider history, along with Franco Harris' illegal catch in the '72 playoffs and Tom Brady's fumble (see above).

Mike Shanahan hasn't won a thing in almost ten years. Thankfully, his arrogance in thinking that he is smarter than the rest of the NFL has kept his team back (did someone say Maurice Clarett - 3rd round draft choice) over the last decade.

The fans are jerks and the beer they serve at their games is flat.

Other than the Raider's three Super Bowl wins, my favorite Super Bowl moments are re-living Denver's four Super Bowl losses in the 70's and 80's.

The nice thing is that Denver is not anywhere near being good enough to have any success in the near future.

With that out of the way, we are just a few days from Thanksgiving and the Holiday Season.

I'll start by saying I'm thankful that the Raiders got a win in Denver today. Life is good.

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!


Anonymous said...

Amen brother amen. I dont know or care about the sabres, and college football is not wirth the effort. But F the red sox and absolutly F the broncos. I live in Denver and have enjoyed greatly cramming this win down every throat I can find. My season is made! Oh yea, and Cutler is a GIANT VAGINA!! Its fottball you wuss. Grow a pair and take your lumps!

Anonymous said...

oops cant spell. Have pudgy fingers. You get the point!