Confessions of a Juicer

First apology of the column - yes, I am aware it has been 26 days since my last post.
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I've been hesitant, but the time has come.
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I cannot live with this deep, dark secret any longer.

If my heroes, such as Jason Giambi, A-Roid, and Jose Canseco can admit it, so can I.

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Yes, I’m on the ‘roids. The Juice. Gym Candy.

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I'd like to apologize to my wife, my family, my friends, all my wonderful fans, and most of all, THE GAME that has given me so much in this life.

I know, you’re shocked. I was always pretty buff (see right)……… but even I had to turn to the dark side.

Be clear (pun intended), it isn’t a cream and my butt hasn’t been injected with anything……ever. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!).

I take juice the old fashioned way, in the form of a pill. Unlike A-Roid, I’m leaving my cousins out of this one. I got my “helpers” from a legit “doctor”, at least that is what I call him.

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Like Andy Pettitte and many others, I’m on the juice to help rehab from a physical ailment. Seriously.

The dreaded foot infection.

Sure, I’m now able to type 180 words a minute – error free, of course – and my accounting skills have never been better on the day job. Heck, I’ve already closed our first quarter of the year and we still have one month to go before the quarter ends.

The downsides to my new hobby? There are a few but I’m managing to deal with them.

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Roid Rage? No problem. I’m a menace on the roads anyway so what’s the difference ?

True, a coach tried avoiding a direct question after I did a hoop game the other night. I got in his face and got the answers I wanted. I call that “results”.

At the day job, I expend the extra anger the juice affords me by calling deadbeat clients who have a hard time putting the pen and the checkbook together.

Shriveled ‘Nads? Again, no problem. I’m old anyway. It was inevitable.

The lesson? Well, I feel better, almost cleansed in coming out of the 'Roid closet. Where is Peter Gammons? While I don't have a pretty blue sweater like A-Roid, I'd welcome an interview.

Memo to any ALLEGED 'roiders......Roger, and Barry, and you too Raffy and Big Mac among others....... come clean, you might just feel a wee bit better.

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For me, I only have three more days of magic left in my un-refillable bottle.

Wonder if A-Roid’s cousin is available for a phone call?

Is it A-Rod, or A-Roid ?

Is it A-Rod, or A-Roid?
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It appears as though there is an answer to that question as, according to Sports Illustrated, it appears that Alex Rodriguez failed a steroid test in 2003.
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And I thought there wouldn't be anything to talk about with the Super Bowl complete and March Madness being six weeks away.
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Yes, I must admit, ripping A-Rod is a favorite hobby of mine. I think he comes off as a phony and he seems to have a difficult time handling the adverstiy that comes with making more cash during than the entire Florida Marlins team.
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I enjoy his annual October failures more than most and I'm eagerly awaiting a statement on this report that has merit. His inital response of "You'll have to talk to the union" isn't good enough.
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In the court of public opinion, anything other than a denial is an admission of guilt. Since I'm a member of the court of public opinion, and this is my blog, I'm annoting myself as judge and jury, I'm going to believe the SI report that was verified by four sources.
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The other part of this is that I don't think Rodriguez has the intestinal fortitude to come out and admit it. He won't face jail time and the failed test was prior to Major League Baseball instituting its testing policy.
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Jason Giambi came clean, so did Andy Pettitte and others. Society is forgiving to those who show remorse. They have gone on with their careers.
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Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens have been defiant, look where they are right now. Mark McGwire didn't want to talk about the past and Rafael Palmeiro lectured legislators before failing a test later that season.
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Chances are, none of those listed above will see the Hall of Fame. The early thought out there now is that neither will Rodriguez.
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It wasn't all that long ago that Jose Canseco came out and name A-Roid as a steroid user. Rodriguez denied the charge.

In his time since leaving the big leagues, Canseco has said many things. At the time, most were viewed as self-servent and as an outrageous attempt to peddle his books and make some coin.
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As time goes forward, Jose Canseco sounds more and more like the only guy with enough guts to tell the truth.
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Is It That Time Already????.

So, I'm at work the other day when the email arrives.........yes, it is time for the annual NASCAR pool at my place of employment, free of charge.

.Fifty-One weeks of fun with hard-driving cars making left turns, revved up engines and tons of chewing tobacco and motor oil.

I couldn't have deleted the offer quick enough.
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Instead of trying to figure out why this sport ---I'm not even sure this qualifies as a sport any more --- is so popular, I'm not going to bother showing an interest. I just don't care.
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In that spirit, I'm deciding where NASCAR fits in my viewing plans when going over options of sports that I'd prefer to view.
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NFL Football? Check.
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Baseball? Check
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Hockey? Check
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College Hoops? Check
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College Football? No Brainer
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Golf? Yep, like to watch that one also.
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Tennis? Don't really care but I'd put it over NASCAR....NFL Pro Bowl? I'm checking in on that along with watching an NBA game over the Daytona time trials so I guess those two items are higher.
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Curling? Yep....underrated and up and coming sport. Women's soccer? Yeah, but its close.

Okay, now we know where the line is. I'd rather watch NASCAR than men's soccer and WNBA.
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Check back next year motorheads, we'll see where your sport ranks then.